The evolution in my thinking over the last 5 years has brought me to see a more multifaceted view of confidence. Instead of seeing self-esteem as oppositional to developing Concrete Confidence, it is one of 7 key pieces that make up the puzzle.

Clarity - easily and thoroughly understood
Certainty - being sure, especially when supported by evidence
Confidence - trust that you will act in an effective way
Self-confidence - certainty in your power to act effectively
Self-esteem - a reasonable sense of your own worth or value
Assertiveness - being direct in expressing oneself.
Aggressiveness - Bold determination in pursuing goals with intensity

If we contrast all of these with their opposites, we have a pretty good list of the feelings players have about themselves when they are visibly "struggling with confidence" in basketball...

Confused (contradicting ideas or instructions)
Unsure (hesitates before acting)
Distrust (of themselves to act effectively)
Powerless (coach/ ref controls the outcome)
Worthless (can't do anything right)
Avoiding ("hot potato" passing vs attacking)
Timid (playing it safe to avoid mistakes - See also Anxiety)

If your player is experiencing any of these, chances are any Fluffy attempts to bolster their confidence will not only produce an eye roll... but also drive distance between you, as they come to see your advice as not a viable solution or not applicable to what they are feeling.

What I have found over 20 years of coaching players through the transition from middle school to high school is that:

1. These 7 facets of Confidence can become a checklist - start at the top and complete the list one by one.

2. None of these have to be explicitly mentioned to the player for them to achieve it - they learn best by doing!

We start with Clarity - Create learning from first principles, defining terminology, striving for mastery of the core concepts that will be applicable 80% of the time in games.

We provide Certainty - In this game situation, these are your 2 best options, this is how to make the decision, this is how to execute the skill, this foot goes there when this dribble happens.

We build Trust that leads to Confidence - We are so certain in our method that our implicit trust that the player absolutely will accomplish the task we are working on is contagious. When we trust them to master a skill, and they watch themselves do it, they start to trust that they can master any skill in the future!

We empower them to be Self-Confident - By showing them the circle of control that they always have available in every game, empowering them to make decisions quickly, and showing them how to execute skills downstream from their decisions, they begin to feel powerful, start acting responsible, start taking ownership, and stop blaming others.

We appreciate them into Self-Esteem - I like both uses of the word 'appreciate' - as in real estate value going up, and as in gratitude and acknowledgment of value. Showing players the value of what they already do well (strengthening strengths) and pointing them toward ways to define and measure their own success leads to Self-Esteem - a reasonable sense of their own value!

We grow Assertiveness - The fastest, simplest, most direct path to score is often the correct one. We work hard to trim the fluff from a player's game, providing them with a few key skills in every game situation that they are certain of and can execute directly without hesitation at game speed vs. live defense.

We assemble Aggressiveness - Think of this as the top of the pyramid - if we have all the other pieces working, testing, and proving the player's capability in progressively challenging environments, and eventually convince them that they really do know what to do and how to do it. Then they can throw their full physical, mental, and emotional power into boldly pursuing the goal of winning with full intensity!

In summary, build a big stack of proof to demonstrate that they know what they're doing, and Voila!

They now have Concrete Confidence - the kind they can stand on with certainty, that puts them head-and-shoulders above their peers!

See you on the court,
Coach BJ

P.S. If you want to help build Concrete Confidence for your player this year, our Spring session of the Confidence Formula starts March 16th. Start the application process here.